I miss the little cheerful girl...
who was happy no matter what...
always a ready skip in every step she took...
and sparkle in the eye...
In love with life...
In love with love...
...And they lived happily ever after!
But, that happens only in fairy tales right?!
Responsibilities, compromises, more responsibilities ...
Adjustments, being taken for granted...
where were those dreams...
walking the tight rope ...
and so continues the balancing act...
But there has to be happy ending...
YES! THERE HAS TO BE A HAPPY ENDING!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
No - Not a word in his dictionary :)
Your wish is my command - your highness!
and there I was, feeling like a little princess
with the newly acquired swan brooch with a dazzling diamond on it...
I had tried to cajole even coerce the others into buying the dazzling brooch - but to no avail
and this man, with whom I had vowed to spend the rest of my life
got me the desired object even without asking....
It looked cheap and tacky - the others said
But my eyes were shining as bright as the newly acquired treasure
That glowed on my dress - and his eyes shone even brighter seeing the joy on my face
And many such small presents - candies when I sat at Co-operative Medical Store
A trip to see those puppies
Every holiday it seems all he wanted was to be with his little princess
And I would howl to be with him when the train left the platform
Then the tides changed - I became a teenager
No longer content with a doting grand-dad
And there I was so eager to explore the world
That I did not notice how this man for whom I had meant the world
Slowly slipped into oblivion...
Dedicated to my grandad - Who never could say no!
and there I was, feeling like a little princess
with the newly acquired swan brooch with a dazzling diamond on it...
I had tried to cajole even coerce the others into buying the dazzling brooch - but to no avail
and this man, with whom I had vowed to spend the rest of my life
got me the desired object even without asking....
It looked cheap and tacky - the others said
But my eyes were shining as bright as the newly acquired treasure
That glowed on my dress - and his eyes shone even brighter seeing the joy on my face
And many such small presents - candies when I sat at Co-operative Medical Store
A trip to see those puppies
Every holiday it seems all he wanted was to be with his little princess
And I would howl to be with him when the train left the platform
Then the tides changed - I became a teenager
No longer content with a doting grand-dad
And there I was so eager to explore the world
That I did not notice how this man for whom I had meant the world
Slowly slipped into oblivion...
Dedicated to my grandad - Who never could say no!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The circle game
...and the seasons they go round and round
and the painted ponies go up and down
we are captive on the carousel of time...
We cant return but we can only look behind from where we came
The whiff of warm cheese toast wafting from the kitchen
The pitter patter of feet...too eager too help
Mumma in the kitchen...the pink apron with elephants on them
and the girl in cropped hair from the kitchen running to and fro
pleasures in the oohs and aahs of the guests...
Mom swelling with pride as they love the cheese toast
or was it the praises they sung for the sweet little girl by her feet...
who was glowing and growing so rapidly
take your time it wont be long now
... till you drag your feet to slow the circles down...
And the same smell wafting from my kitchen now....
Miles and miles from my mother ...in a different country today
Miles and miles from my mother.. ...
But her voice playing in my head, in my heart
...grate the cheese, chop tomatoes and capsicum and mix them with the grated cheese
butter the bread , spoon the topping and put it in the oven and grill to perfection..
the same taste...or is it?
and the pitter patter of tiny feet... too young to help yet...
and here I am...
watching, remembering, slipping into the pensieve...
dragging my feet to slow the circle, stop the circle, rewind the circle...
and the painted ponies go up and down
we are captive on the carousel of time...
We cant return but we can only look behind from where we came
The whiff of warm cheese toast wafting from the kitchen
The pitter patter of feet...too eager too help
Mumma in the kitchen...the pink apron with elephants on them
and the girl in cropped hair from the kitchen running to and fro
pleasures in the oohs and aahs of the guests...
Mom swelling with pride as they love the cheese toast
or was it the praises they sung for the sweet little girl by her feet...
who was glowing and growing so rapidly
take your time it wont be long now
... till you drag your feet to slow the circles down...
And the same smell wafting from my kitchen now....
Miles and miles from my mother ...in a different country today
Miles and miles from my mother.. ...
But her voice playing in my head, in my heart
...grate the cheese, chop tomatoes and capsicum and mix them with the grated cheese
butter the bread , spoon the topping and put it in the oven and grill to perfection..
the same taste...or is it?
and the pitter patter of tiny feet... too young to help yet...
and here I am...
watching, remembering, slipping into the pensieve...
dragging my feet to slow the circle, stop the circle, rewind the circle...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Skinned our hearts...
Heart aflutter, twinkling eyes, young blush
villianous adults term it infatutation...
sneaking out with the best friend....clandestine visits...exchange of vows...
and the inevitable 'the end' ... unlike the 'happily ever after' dreamt of
tears and a lot of them...lets open the flood gates now...
Sad movies, Rhythm of the falling rain - soothed the aching heart
and the best friend stood by - watching, encouraging, consoling, counselling, hating for you, hating more than!
Growing up pains, they call it..
But lifes most important lessons learnt...
- To distinguish between right and wrong
- To identify those indispensable - the 'villianous adults'
- To sift out the fair weather friends and value those who withstand the tidal waves not now, always
villianous adults term it infatutation...
sneaking out with the best friend....clandestine visits...exchange of vows...
and the inevitable 'the end' ... unlike the 'happily ever after' dreamt of
tears and a lot of them...lets open the flood gates now...
Sad movies, Rhythm of the falling rain - soothed the aching heart
and the best friend stood by - watching, encouraging, consoling, counselling, hating for you, hating more than!
Growing up pains, they call it..
But lifes most important lessons learnt...
- To distinguish between right and wrong
- To identify those indispensable - the 'villianous adults'
- To sift out the fair weather friends and value those who withstand the tidal waves not now, always
'am I writer?....maybe not'
I started this blog inspired by friends ('Finely Chopped' my initiation) who are very active on the blogging scene...
Enjoyed reading their blogs ...left me with a feeling 'wish I could write like them'
I am not a writer, never have been...my mom has been writing...my dad writes
My friends write and nowadays almost everyone I know writes
But I don't write...rather can't write ...
Okay, maybe want to write, wish to write...
But what do I write about?...things you are passionate about
So many things and oft written about...
And why would anyone want to read what I write?
Maybe not...so what?
Nonetheless, I started by own blog...not for others but for myself
For the safekeeping of memories... of those good times I want to hold on to
Something I would treasure reading, when my memory fades...
Most posts* are about my current, and ever lasting obsession...true to my 'bong mom of a son' genes!
interspersed with my own childhood memories...
and maybe other things
-travel...need your help Shubh (book the next holiday stat!)
-cooking...food...your help again Shubh
-and ...
*(Started out the old fashioned way of documenting... got a baby book ... daily updates, gave way to weekly, monthly...reduced to post it to remember dates...and now nothing at all
and yes, you don't get good ones here ...So got one from overseas...thanks a ton Pun...)
Enjoyed reading their blogs ...left me with a feeling 'wish I could write like them'
I am not a writer, never have been...my mom has been writing...my dad writes
My friends write and nowadays almost everyone I know writes
But I don't write...rather can't write ...
Okay, maybe want to write, wish to write...
But what do I write about?...things you are passionate about
So many things and oft written about...
And why would anyone want to read what I write?
Maybe not...so what?
Nonetheless, I started by own blog...not for others but for myself
For the safekeeping of memories... of those good times I want to hold on to
Something I would treasure reading, when my memory fades...
Most posts* are about my current, and ever lasting obsession...true to my 'bong mom of a son' genes!
interspersed with my own childhood memories...
and maybe other things
-travel...need your help Shubh (book the next holiday stat!)
-cooking...food...your help again Shubh
-and ...
*(Started out the old fashioned way of documenting... got a baby book ... daily updates, gave way to weekly, monthly...reduced to post it to remember dates...and now nothing at all
and yes, you don't get good ones here ...So got one from overseas...thanks a ton Pun...)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Memories in sepia - Part 1
Pictures have slowly started to get blurred....
Fading childhood memories...in black and white...
in sepia
Lily pond (more a tank) near the front gate...trips with Bapai standing in front of the scooter talking all the way..me chattering ...not changed much as friends would say
bringing the yellow chicks home from the nearby hatchery...two yellow fur balls (head and the body) and two black dots as eyes
Crows whizzing past my newly shaven head...and touch down! Ouch! memories still hurt!
climbing the gate, climbing the post, climbing the window....and climbing some more...
scraped knees...bruised hand but a smile in the tear stricken face...
Dumbo hathi...first feel of fear
locking mom in the kitchen...
Mischievous, naughty, whirlwind, common adjectives...
Thank you Ma and Bapai for keeping these memories alive ....but stories were always about me and not about you...
Fading childhood memories...in black and white...
in sepia
Lily pond (more a tank) near the front gate...trips with Bapai standing in front of the scooter talking all the way..me chattering ...not changed much as friends would say
bringing the yellow chicks home from the nearby hatchery...two yellow fur balls (head and the body) and two black dots as eyes
Crows whizzing past my newly shaven head...and touch down! Ouch! memories still hurt!
climbing the gate, climbing the post, climbing the window....and climbing some more...
scraped knees...bruised hand but a smile in the tear stricken face...
Dumbo hathi...first feel of fear
locking mom in the kitchen...
Mischievous, naughty, whirlwind, common adjectives...
Thank you Ma and Bapai for keeping these memories alive ....but stories were always about me and not about you...
Fixations
"To talk of many things:Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling hot--And whether pigs have wings."
1) Bikes
2) Sunglass
3) Helmet (2,3 postinterchangeable)
4) Cricket bat
5) Football
6) Gun
7) Shoes
and the list continues....
Idhant is forever convincing, cajoling, persuading his dad to lend him a pair of his sunglasses and even Shubh could not withstand the power of those big brown eyes (migh well up any moment) and parted with two pairs of sunglasses but what have we....he wanted the one Shubh wore to work...now
With his grandmom undergoing a cataract surgery and his dad lending her, his sunglasses - yes those ones which lil Calvin had been yearning to wear - brought out the best in the lil conniving fellow in all his avatars
1ACT 1: Persuasion: How are you feeling thammu? Nice sunglass...wont you let me wear the....big eyes,,,get even bigger, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease
Nope...doesn't work! Time to try the next act
2) ACT 2: Barter: See I got you these sunglasses. Why dont you use mine and let me use yours?
Tough customer...Let turn on the charm...some aggressive seling
3) ACT 3: Temptation: Hey thammu? check out my sunglasses? Aint I looking handsome?
Yes?!..Yippie....Why dont you wear mine and let me wear yours?
This doesnt work either...shall we then try the old trick at hand, TANTRUM!
No luck! These guys are getting good at this! They dont even look at me!
4) Ready retort
Thammu: These glasses are dirty.
Calvin: Dont worry, I will ask Asha didi to clean it.
5) Shall we then go the root cause way?!
Thammu: See, my eyes hurt.
Calvin: Mamma: My eyes hurt too.... I have to wear her sunglasses
(mamma...chokhey ooh hoeychey...thammu sunglass ta portey hobey)
But Thammu emerges the final winner ...a tough cookie to crack
see my eyes...they are so dirty...do you still want to wear them?
Calvin: Yuck! No! Never!
and his finickiness get the better of him...
Yes, yes he is a very very finicky guy....dominant paternal gene ...I am cursed with bad luck all my life !!
...cannot eat food without having a box of tissue around
...need to wipe mouth, hands, neck, body after every morsel swallowed
...clothes need to be changed even if there is a drop of water...we realised this when he was 1 week old and throwing a tantrum despite being well fed and clean...the outer corner of his shirt was wet...drop of water if not half a drop!...gurgled back to sleep once we changed his clothes...
...need to clean the cricket ball everytime we hit it with the bat and it rolls on the ground(mumma muchey dao, nongra hoye gaechey)
Flip side ...yes there is a positive side
...every lil scrap goes into the dustbin
...two and something takes off his shoes and put them neatly near the door...will even go back and put his socks in his shoes...did that recently at a friends place when we had gone for dinner....He had taken off his shoes and an hour later he asked me take off his socks...then he took those from me...located where his shoes were and neatly put them inside his shoes
...mostly puts his toys away after playing with them
...never comes back dirty after playing downstairs
...loves taking a bath...always has...soaking in the bathtub...this summer managed 5 soaks in a day
1) Bikes
2) Sunglass
3) Helmet (2,3 postinterchangeable)
4) Cricket bat
5) Football
6) Gun
7) Shoes
and the list continues....
Idhant is forever convincing, cajoling, persuading his dad to lend him a pair of his sunglasses and even Shubh could not withstand the power of those big brown eyes (migh well up any moment) and parted with two pairs of sunglasses but what have we....he wanted the one Shubh wore to work...now
With his grandmom undergoing a cataract surgery and his dad lending her, his sunglasses - yes those ones which lil Calvin had been yearning to wear - brought out the best in the lil conniving fellow in all his avatars
1ACT 1: Persuasion: How are you feeling thammu? Nice sunglass...wont you let me wear the....big eyes,,,get even bigger, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease
Nope...doesn't work! Time to try the next act
2) ACT 2: Barter: See I got you these sunglasses. Why dont you use mine and let me use yours?
Tough customer...Let turn on the charm...some aggressive seling
3) ACT 3: Temptation: Hey thammu? check out my sunglasses? Aint I looking handsome?
Yes?!..Yippie....Why dont you wear mine and let me wear yours?
This doesnt work either...shall we then try the old trick at hand, TANTRUM!
No luck! These guys are getting good at this! They dont even look at me!
4) Ready retort
Thammu: These glasses are dirty.
Calvin: Dont worry, I will ask Asha didi to clean it.
5) Shall we then go the root cause way?!
Thammu: See, my eyes hurt.
Calvin: Mamma: My eyes hurt too.... I have to wear her sunglasses
(mamma...chokhey ooh hoeychey...thammu sunglass ta portey hobey)
But Thammu emerges the final winner ...a tough cookie to crack
see my eyes...they are so dirty...do you still want to wear them?
Calvin: Yuck! No! Never!
and his finickiness get the better of him...
Yes, yes he is a very very finicky guy....dominant paternal gene ...I am cursed with bad luck all my life !!
...cannot eat food without having a box of tissue around
...need to wipe mouth, hands, neck, body after every morsel swallowed
...clothes need to be changed even if there is a drop of water...we realised this when he was 1 week old and throwing a tantrum despite being well fed and clean...the outer corner of his shirt was wet...drop of water if not half a drop!...gurgled back to sleep once we changed his clothes...
...need to clean the cricket ball everytime we hit it with the bat and it rolls on the ground(mumma muchey dao, nongra hoye gaechey)
Flip side ...yes there is a positive side
...every lil scrap goes into the dustbin
...two and something takes off his shoes and put them neatly near the door...will even go back and put his socks in his shoes...did that recently at a friends place when we had gone for dinner....He had taken off his shoes and an hour later he asked me take off his socks...then he took those from me...located where his shoes were and neatly put them inside his shoes
...mostly puts his toys away after playing with them
...never comes back dirty after playing downstairs
...loves taking a bath...always has...soaking in the bathtub...this summer managed 5 soaks in a day
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